I Met My Husband at UCLA
We’ve now been married for over fifty years. Here’s the complete story of how I met my husband. It happened on Halloween in 1962.
Rejected and on the Rebound on Halloween
The day before a Halloween Party is a horrible day to realize your current flame has found someone new. I had met the man during my junior year of college. It was an immediate attraction. He was tall, blond, and handsome.
Some one had introduced us in the dorm lounge at UCLA’s Dykstra Hall and before we knew it, we were out on a walk. All nature was conspiring against me that night. We walked all the way across campus to the Botanical Gardens and walked through those gardens in the moonlight.
On the way back to the dorm we walked to the middle of campus and down the Janss steps — leading about two stories down to the street. It was foggy, and the lights along the steps stretched out like golden ribbons in the foggy mist, and it was magic. There was light in my heart and stars in my eyes. It was a wonderful first date.
That was over fifty years ago, so I don’t remember how often we saw each other during that time. I know we went to the beach in Santa Monica on the bus one night for an hour or two and stopped to get a snack before walking back to Dykstra Hall, where we both lived. We also went to a couple of meetings together.
The Rejection – and the Other Woman
It was a wonderful couple of weeks, and then, right before the day of the dorm’s special Halloween dinner party, he seemed to be avoiding me. No explanation — just not calling, not being around. I was very wounded in heart. I had never been rejected in such a way before.
When you live in the same dorm, you can’t avoid each other forever, and I did manage to corner him the next day and ask what the reason was. He gave me some line about being afraid he’d been getting too serious too fast and needing to bring things to a halt. I went back upstairs to my roommate and got a bit of consolation, but not enough to get me through what came next.
I went down to the lounge and saw “my” man with another girl. She was in costume — and what a costume! It was quite skimpy (and she wasn’t) with fishnet stockings and leotards.
I’m not sure what she was supposed to be, but it made me feel terrible to be replaced so suddenly by what she appeared to be. Remember, this was 1962, and the sexual revolution had not yet occurred. Later that year, when one of my other dates asked if I was the good wholesome girl his mom wanted him to find, I could honestly reply that I was.
A Halloween Dinner to Remember
Needless to say, I was not looking forward to the party in the dorm that night. The food served would be above average, but I wasn’t very hungry. I felt my rejection would be written all over me, so I stayed in my room with my roommate, J_, working up the courage to go down to dinner. I had no costume to hide behind. I’m not the costume type. J_ also was planning to go as herself.
J_ had lived in the dorm before I did. I had just transferred there from the all girl’s dorm. J_ had met lots of people I hadn’t. One of them she had a crush on. His name was Kosta. She was always pointing him out to me when she’d see him downstairs, but I could never figure out whom she was zeroing in on.
Meanwhile, I’d attended an off-campus Christian meeting a couple of weeks before, and afterwards a young man had introduced himself as Millard. He said he’d seen me at the dorm. We had invited me to walk back to the dorm with him. This was about a week before I’d met the person who had just rejected me.
J_ and I liked to eat early, so that Halloween night we went down to dinner at the usual time. I was trying to be inconspicuous and I was hoping I would not see the new couple. Seating in Dystra Hall was in long tables and you looked for people you knew to join.
As J_ and I were looking for a table, I spotted Millard. He had seemed friendly, and we’d met after attending a Christian meeting. I decided he was a brother who could cheer me up. I headed for the table and J_ blushed (she was shy), and said “We can’t sit there. Kosta’s there.”
I said, “You can do as you please, but I’m going to sit there.” (I knew she really wanted to meet him. I don’t think they’d ever officially been introduced, and she’d been admiring him from afar.) She reluctantly followed me. Millard seemed happy to have us join them. I introduced him to J_, and he introduced us to Kosta. Kosta then made a big fuss over J_, helping her with her chair, etc., while she ate up the attention. She is an attractive blond.
We all became good friends. What we hadn’t known that night was that Millard and Kosta were Christian leaders in that dorm. They knew almost every Christian who lived there. It was the habit of the Christians in that dorm to eat at the same table in the dining hall, friends and roommates in tow, so soon J_ and I knew the entire group.
I began spending more time with Kosta and Millard. I usually was able to nab one or the other of them to walk with about 9 PM every night. It wasn’t smart even then for a woman to walk around campus after dark alone. We had a lot of conversations and both Millard and Kosta became close friends.
I was soon accepting Kosta’s invitations to study with him in the engineering library most nights, and we talked a lot going back and forth and on breaks. By the next spring, it became evident we were falling in love. By the next Christmas we were engaged. And now we’ve been married for almost fifty years.
You now know how I met my husband. How did you meet your spouse or significant other?